The Zen Social Worker

Yoga for Anxiety & Mental Health Workshop Review

2012-03-04T19:57:00.002-08:00

Hot off the heels of a great week working on my thesis and the incredibly busy but very successful fundraiser evening we put on for Lutherwood's Running Club I decided a self care weekend was much needed. It started off Friday with a good friend of mine, Alyssa; she agreed last minute to accompany me to "An evening with The Walkmen" which was excellent! The Walkmen are one of my favourite bands and they played everything I wanted to hear from their catalogue of songs. I then spent Saturday working (read mostly jamming and doing some therapeutic music sessions with the kids) and was really looking forward to my Sunday afternoon at the Iyengar Yoga School of Toronto.

Boy, was I in for a surprise.

As a graduate student of social work, I am used to hearing some people say negative, uninformed or downright ignorant things about mental illness. I have learnt not to snap back and be the obnoxious advocate. At the same time as a yoga teacher I am also used to seeing yoga teachers stepping outside of their comfort area into such realms like spiritual guide, life coach, therapist and more; I think it's easy for yoga teachers to fall into this trap - they want to help, I get it.

However, today when I attended a workshop described by the Iyengar Yoga School of Toronto as "Yoga for Anxiety & Mental Health" I was shocked to see that all of the above had come together in one afternoon that turned out to be.. difficult.

The class started with a completely disorganized teacher running through what appeared to be run-of-the-mill definitions googled around the term anxiety. The problem here though was that this yoga teacher had almost zero understanding of what they were talking about. I was curious and inquired about the teachers experience or qualifications in mental health, they had none. The teacher offered the class mental health information with the ease of an expert but muddled terminology, made generalizations, labelled - took part in tautology where presenting symptoms are labelled as a disorder which justified the diagnoses. The worst of the day, the teacher didn't understand the experience of people have with mental illness, the teacher referred to those who suffer with post traumatic stress as "victims" in a demeaning tone claiming they "always act as if the world has done this to them and they have no part in it." That was hard for me to hear. One of the this teachers student teachers, an employee of the Iyengar Yoga School of Toronto joked that someone with post traumatic stress "needs to get a hobby." He laughed out loud and I piped up but respected that this wasn't my space or forum to share my thoughts. I simply protested and explained that traumatic stress can be debilitating. I saw the reaction of other workshop participants and was relieved to find that they also seemed uncomfortable with this disjointed talk about mental health.

Thankfully, the class took a sharp turn. We broke off into small groups and worked on poses which this teacher had handpicked for specific anxiety spectrum disorders. The teachers expertise in understanding the poses was complimented with a dedication to the Iyengar "way" of doing yoga where many props/supports were used (bolsters, blankets, blocks, chairs, ropes fixed to the walls). This really validated my ideas about using yoga with mental health clients who may have physical limitations in participating in yoga or find it intimidating. We spent an hour and a half working on only a few poses per group but really mastering how to get into the pose, how they were prescribed for dealing with anxiety and of course getting out of the pose safely.

Although I was dismayed with the first half of the workshop, I received what I wanted, additional training in poses to relieve anxiety. I will be sharing some of these poses in upcoming posts.

Tim.

Can Yoga Heal?

2012-03-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

Half Lord of the Fishes, a Yoga Pose.

People say yoga is good for you - is it? Iyengar, a world famous yoga teacher wrote in his book Light on Life that yoga can cure illness, my friend Elizabeth swears by it; she says that she knows it can heal, "it worked for me, it gave me control back over my body" she says. I appreciate her passion but I'm a skeptic. Historically, yoga has made extensive (sometimes unrealistic) claims of reversing aging, slowing heart rates to the point of stopping, living longer (if not forever) and more.

I know from first hand experience that it feels great to do yoga. For years I've attended regular yoga classes, developed my own practice at home (now doing yoga every morning) and becoming a yoga teacher/enrolling in yoga teacher training really immersed me in yoga and deepened my knowledge of it. It's been a running joke with friends that you walk out of a yoga class feeling the "yoga high." It's a feeling of peacefulness and inner contentment. Needless to say, I love yoga but do I believe it can heal? I'm not entirely sure, there hasn't been a lot of legitimate research to show that it "heals" but there is a LOT of legitimate research on it helping and facilitating changes in those who practice it. These changes I'm talking about may not be as significant as yogins have historically claimed but they are significant.

I realize that I am opening a can of worms, starting a conversation that is very deep and involves many different perspectives so allow me to take a step back and let you know that this is something I've been researching for about seven months now. This research is in fact the subject of my masters thesis, it involves talking to professionals in mental health, working with other yoga teachers, talking to people who report having experienced the healing qualities of yoga, collaborating with other researchers using yoga in their research work and reading. A lot of reading. I have become a walking encyclopedia of knowledge related to the history, philosophy, theories and clinical applications of yoga. I invite you do the same, I will frequently link to and post citations of things that I'm reading.

Please join me over the next months as I fulfill the original intention of creating this blog, exploring yoga as a modality of therapeutic care.

I'm excited!

Tim.

..and we're live!

2012-02-27T13:22:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to shoot out an announcement, The Zen Social Worker now has a dedicated domain: TheZenSocialWorker.ca and TheZenSocialWorker.com both redirect here thanks to the great staff at GoDaddy.com they were friendly and extremely helpful.

What originally started as a diararium and opportunity for me to simply share ideas has turned into a source of information on yoga research, consultations on introducing yoga and a place for me to present myself to the community looking for resources on all of the above.

The coming months will bring the publication of many posts and a lot of talk about my research in yoga so stay tuned!

Tim.

Life is busy but there is always yoga.

2012-02-16T14:35:00.000-08:00

Pictured above: a typical day for me, I have paperwork and a textbook under one arm with my mat (and phone sticking out of it) under the other. I'm awake, dressed, grab my apple as a snack and my delicious chocolate protein shake for breakfast but gasp while checking emails and organizing myself for the day as I realize I have to be somewhere very shortly!
p.s. Stephanie, I used your camera today to take this picture - I hope you don't mind.

In my studies as a Master of Social Work student I have class and practicum - I work a lot: try to blog as often as I can, teach yoga, do yoga teacher training, write my thesis and work (where I live, this is common to work while in school). Needless to say having a life otherwise isn't really applicable.

All of the above can lead to burnout, something I have come to understand over this past week more deeply. We live in an age where people are expected to do a lot and to work hard while they do it. Deepak Chopra quips that we need to spend more time as human-beings and spend less as human-doings. I had my own journey in exploring this, questioning do I have good self care techniques or have I been maladaptive in dealing with my stressors?

My clients, yoga students and friends frequently remark that they perceive me as a happy guy, I smile a lot and appear to them to usually be in a good mood. Importantly, I do feel good and am generally a pretty happy guy. So, what do I do? Yoga. First thing in the morning, every day for twenty minutes I have my own practice. I had a really stressful week, last week and found that yoga is what grounds me. Allow me to indulge and define ground for a moment; grounding is essentially what I believe gives me emotion regulation and clears my mind, it's the time that I dedicate to my practice of yoga. The Yoga Sutra refers to this as Abhyasa (having a diligent, focused practice). When I lose this diligent and focused practice, I feel it.

Now, doing yoga every morning can sometimes not be the easiest thing to do so some nights I roll my mat out before I go to bed knowing that when it's staring me in the face when I get out of bed - I am more likely to do it. Sometimes I need to set my alarm ten minutes earlier in the morning to make the time for my practice. My morning yoga is generally slow to begin with as I warm up the spine, it picks up in pace and agility as I become more awake; this means that usually I do sun salutations and get into a great flow after about ten minutes of slow, effortful movement. There are however mornings where I don't feel like sweating or going to deep and I modify my practice. I implore you to learn seated sun salutations and use them on the days when you don't feel like getting up and going. There is also always restorative or yin yoga poses which I have also found help energize me or clear my mind when I need it.

This is my form of self-care and I've been good keeping it consistent by getting on my mat every morning and being purposeful in doing so. I also teach yoga and attend/participate in a class a week which I always feel rather zen-like afterwards but yoga alone isn't the key. For me, a good balance of times with friends and family and sticking to a relatively healthy diet keeps me on the right track.

More on yoga later,
Tim.

So what is burnout and what can I do to avoid it?

2012-02-12T20:46:00.000-08:00

Burnout, we know it's bad and that we for sure don't want to get it but what exactly is it and how can I make sure I don't end up with a case of it myself?

I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my recent supervision issue. This was a pretty major event in my professional life and it left me asking big questions about what I expect from a supervisor and it led me down a path questioning the supervisors actions, why did they act the way they did? In reality I may never know but the more I talk with colleagues about it, it sounds like burnout.

So, let me be clear: burnout is bad, I don't want it and I'm sure you don't either. How do we identify burnout though? According Maslach & Leiter on burnout:

"It represents an erosion in values, dignity, spirit and will.. an erosion of the human soul. It is a malady that spreads gradually and continuously over time, putting people into a downward spiral."

Okay, that sounds awful; I mean "an erosion of the human soul" is serious. Realistically do social workers really experience this? I argue yes, social workers meet all the criteria of burnout: overloaded case loads (read an insurmountable number of cases), long work hours, performing work that can conflict with our values, a lack of control in a fast paced environment that destroys a sense of community amongst coworkers. Social workers constantly face issues of downsizing in economies that tend to undervalue or cutback social programs. Ultimately what this comes down to in my opinion is social workers operating in an environment where they try to empower clients but they themselves do not feel empowered much of the time. Let's face it, social workers, nurses, psychologists, doctors, police officers, etc. all experience high expectations from the public - from our clients but how do we feel when can't live up to those expectations or can't fulfill them in a way that we know will be a positive outcome for the client.

Burnout manifests itself in a variety of ways including physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, mistrust and anger can also be product of burnout. Interestingly I found that feelings typically associated with impostor syndrome also become a part of the burnout experience, feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty in areas where confidence was formerly the norm. This according to Mike Gorkin (LCSW), leads to an attitude that is entrenched in cynicism and callousness; here the burned out individual exhibits hostility or are easily provoked.

Through my research the last few days, there are some deeper issues related to burnout that I've come to understand. Burnout it's not for the faint of heart; I recognize that those who get it, have it because they're sticking it out and not quitting. I don't mean to glorify this but I understand it, these individuals have been exposed to the conditions I discussed above for a long period of time. It can't be easy.

The prescription for avoiding burnout and overcoming it self care; a bit of a buzz word in social work schools - but what is it really? I found a lovely article on the Public Health Agency of Canada website which had some great ideas about recognizing stressors in caregivers and some "stress-relieving activities" which appeared to be moderately helpful in my opinion the best I found online were here in a somewhat sentimental article from The New Social Worker Online but I appreciate the sentiment, perhaps because I'm a student and the article is focused on social workers achieving their degrees but one of the most important concepts - don't do it alone. I really appreciate that. Having my friends and colleagues as well as the academic supervisor to debrief with gave me an incredible amount of insight into what I experienced and my own reactions to it. It was validating and helpful, I didn't feel alone.

So does self-care mean not being alone or seeking out supervision? I really don't think so. I think it's the culmination of all the activities that you participate in to secure your mental health. For me, yoga is a big part of me avoiding stressors and keeping myself physically feeling good which has a direct affect on my emotional balance. My twenty minutes of yoga every morning supercharges me for the day (more about my morning yoga here). After a stressful day, talking with friends and colleagues, being social helps but turning the lights down low, sitting on a block and meditating for a few minutes after a run, long bike ride or good run of sun salutations really helps calm my mind.

I told you about me, how do you practice self care?
Tim.

A bad experience with supervision.

2012-02-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

"Listen to me: get out of here and move forward.

This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened." (As quoted from Don Draper, Mad Men Season 02, Episode 5)

The above quote is one that I've had running through my head several times over the last two weeks. It gave me strength, a stiff upper lip and helped me keep my head when I was working in a hostile work environment; I had the unfortunate experience of being bullied by a supervisor. When I brought it up with my school, they told me simply not to return. I however, didn't think that was right, I committed to doing this placement, it wouldn't be fair for my patients (hospital healthcare setting) nor for my character; I'm an adult and capable of persevering in a difficult situation.

I returned to the placement the next day much to the shock of everyone and perhaps even to the chagrin of my supervisor who also commented they were surprised I returned. I stayed despite little acknowledgement of the former transgression, and certainly no apology. I had tried to deal with it on my own but the power dynamic was too delicate, I became the problem quickly. I waited patiently for the school to mediate in dealing with the issue. Markedly, in the past I've always been the type to deal with matters in a straight forward way; I've never navigated an atmosphere of little trust, intimidation and unpleasantness before. The worst part about this was when the school finally intervened and removed me from the placement, I was asked to leave without the ability to terminate appropriately with my patients.

As students doing our practicum placements, we can find ourselves in precarious situations where power dynamics are unique. One of my longtime mentors, a brilliant child protection worker and supportive staff trainer with a gentle disposition that I can only liken to motherliness shared with me that during her final practicum placement, her social work supervisor told her that she should not be in social work and that she should quit. Who are these awful supervisor!? How is it that they exist in direct contrast to everything that this great profession stands for? Burnout perhaps - let us assume they weren't always this way.

Onward and upward,
Tim.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Service Culture

2012-01-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

People tend not to understand me when I tell them that there is such a thing as a policing culture. My colleagues (other psychotherapy or social work students) tend to cock their heads and look at me inquisitively.

So, what is the big difference between us and them?

That's right, I am going to say "us and them." I realize that statement alone is making some of my fellow social workers cringe thinking that I'm not being sensitive enough and that I am othering. I assure you, I'm not.

There is a systemic difference that sets most civilians apart from police officers, military personnel, paramedics, firefighters, etc. We expect them to do some of the most psychologically demanding, emotionally draining work there is and then criticize them harshly when mistakes happen in those respective professions. We as a society are hard on our first responders and military personnel. The last proverbial nail in the coffin is that the Service Culture that surrounds them, doesn't help. Service members are quick to learn that they're not allowed to cry, breakdown or show emotion. There is a notion that one must be tough and stoic. This expectation sets them apart. In fact I would say that health professionals, nurses, doctors, social workers, etc. also suffer from a similar culture.

Counsellors need to be competent when it comes to working with service members; establishing a therapeutic alliance is not as simple or involve the same skills it would take with a non-service member client. Consider, is there stigma associated with coming to a therapist for this person? Many people experience those feelings in coming to counselling but I hypothesize that this culture of service that our service members are a part of makes this more challenging for the service members.

A method to overcoming this may as simple as asking questions. If you don't know the particulars of policing culture or the air force.. ask! The service culture that I described above are typically closed systems, so finding context here is extremely important for us practitioners. Having a routine that works with many clients may not engage an individual who is coming from this system. This does not mean being affective in addressing the issues is any different clinically. In fact evidence based practices are well published from prolonged exposure therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, cognitive process therapy, or problem solving are all within a practitioners grasp already. Instead reflect on your interpersonal relationship, your ability to foster an environment where you understand that this client may not believe it's okay to get help. I suggest that education may help eliminate this stigma, labelling issues that service members are experiencing may increase their awareness of what they're experiencing as a result or something causal of what they have been exposed to. Again, this could be helpful.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is almost common language now and there's even a "For Dummies" book on the subject but intimate partner violence, suicide, substance abuse, adjustment disorders, depression, familial issues of secondary stress are far less publicized in regards to police officers, Canadian forces, firefighters, etc.

I believe that a holistic approach to these issues is essential. I have made it my work for several years to work with first responders and military personnel. This short article is only the tip of the iceberg, I plan on spending a significant amount of time blogging on the subject so please, feel free to chime in with your thoughts and comments.

Tim.

Can I talk to my social worker about medication?

2012-01-17T20:14:00.000-08:00

Psychopharmacotherapy is not a hot topic in social work but it should be. People who are using medication, especially psychotropics should be able to talk to their counsellor (yes, I know I'm shoulding right now but hear me out). There is a real and serious reluctance in social work to talk about medication, we can't diagnose (in Canada), we certainly can't prescribe medication and this results in most social workers telling clients that they are not able to talk about medications.

Well, why the heck not? I implore you, my fellow social work students and practitioners to broaden your understanding of medications, their effects and how individuals experience them in their many varied ways. I'm currently working in an interdisciplinary medical team and getting some great insight from nurses, psychologists and psychiatrists on medication but the best words are from clients sharing their experiences.

So here I am left wondering how much is too much when it comes to my talks about medication. Should I just listen intently and nod in acknowledgement to my clients insights and concerns but withholding any information; or do I share the stories I've heard/read to help clients understanding and making meaning out of their medication. I propose that talking about medication is a good thing, exploring it's strengths and perceived benefits for clients or acknowledging limitations. Once a social worker becomes comfortable with medication terminology and navigating the world of pharmaceuticals, a social worker could become proactive and prepare clients who are awaiting psychiatric evaluation, making referrals or sharing information on medication.

Your thoughts?
Tim.

Excuse my absence.

2012-01-06T20:34:00.001-08:00

I have been gone for some time. November of last year was a very busy month with a full course load which brought with it many major papers and assignments due. I also was planning my trip to India and by the time I left I didn't have time to write for the blog. I did however bring along a beautiful journal and pen to write my thoughts and now that I'm back in the comfort of my own home, I can sit back and reflect.Well, not quite.. I am back in class come Monday and practicum starts Tuesday. Which means I'm going to be a busy guy. Yoga teacher training will also be in full swing by the end of this month. So, I guess you could say the blog will be my escape, a place for sharing new ideas and reflecting.First, allow me to address my recent trip to India from which the attached picture is from. I have wanted to go for a very long time. Several years ago my best fried Josh and I were supposed to go together, a work emergency caused me to postpone my departure and ultimately cancel my trip. It was a great disappointment at the time and Josh went without me. Now, I was planning on visiting Josh and his girlfriend in their new home on Vancouver Island but I told Josh I was thinking about going to India instead with all my time off. He thought it was a great idea. He gave me a lot of advice which included picking up a copy of Lonely Planet. Now, Lonely Planet was rather helpful but I must note that it is laid out rather poorly, meriting much confusion between the mis-colored metro lines in Delhi, confusing maps and too many instances of page flipping to find things that were on the map but didn't appear to be listed with a description.Let me be clear that my motivation for going to India was to seek spiritual enlightenment and learn about a lifestyle that involves spirituality in the everyday. This was something that deeply interested me previously but now as a yogi, I was even more motivated to explore the birthplace of yoga. I had never been to a "third world nation" What I discovered though was not as much to my liking as I would have preferred however, I believe I'm a much richer person for it. Just not richer in the way I had hoped.I am left believing that the real yoga renaissance is happening right here at home.

I left India with a real and deep sense of gratefulness, when people would ask me where I was from I would tell them Canada, they would always respond with "Oh! That is a very good country." and I would politely thank them. I didn't realize until a few days into my trip that they didn't mean Canada was picturesque or beautiful, they meant it's a good place in that we have universal healthcare, equality is a priority, social welfare programs, we take care of our people. After seeing the poverty and the suffering in India, I understood. Poverty was everywhere, the standard of living is shockingly low even when staying with my friends who by all accounts are middle or at least upper middle class.

I had a hard time being confronted with the hardships everywhere, even to see the living conditions that my friends and their children live in which by Indian standards are excellent. I grit my teeth and tried to bare what was difficult. There were times when I broke down. I saw a man in the streets desperately trying to repair a tarp that was his shelter, his efforts seemed helpless but what was I to do? Stop and tell him the tarp was ripped and tattered beyond repair, what good would that have done. I continued to walk and about five steps later I found a man digging in a dumpster, he threw the carcass of a small chicken that had been cooked to a dog that sucked at the remaining meat with it's long tongue. The man found something vegetable looking that was edible for himself and he held the minimal amount of food close to his mouth as he ate. I walked on and began to tear up. A muslim man walking with one child on his shoulders and two children walking beside him down the makeshift sidewalk stopped me, he saw what I saw, he saw my reaction and smiled at me putting his hand to my heart and gave me a long look into my eyes as if to say he knew, or that he understood and felt my pain. I don't know. I really appreciated it though.

I don't ever want to forget what I saw I just want to understand it better so that I can make use of it to help more people.

With love,
Tim.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Rebuild all your ruins, I'm going home.

2011-12-27T12:25:00.000-08:00

Rebuild all your ruins, I'm going home.
Some reflection on my trip to India.

At three in the morning, nearly the end of December;

I'm retreating on an overnight flight.

I am not giving up, I'm just saying goodbye to you.

You know I loved the idea of living with you but

when I saw how you beat your children I fled the city.

I met your good people and the bad ones too.

I stood where kings stood, watched the sun set and wondered if they feared what I fear.

I looked over the landscape where generals once planned and murmured a ritual prayer.

You kissed me in the hill station away from the smog and the heat and the hate.I could forgive you but I turn my heart homewards, please don't stay up or wait.

Do you love your life? Have you lived your life well? What regrets will you have when you die?

2011-11-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

Do I love my life, have I lived my life in a way that will make people smile when I'm dead and gone? I think these are life changing questions (which leads me to believe I may be an existentialist but more on that later). Let us first address that life is not a constant onward and upward development toward a destination of more. We can only consider that we have this life, our only life. We can learn to live well, fully and make an effort to understand that we have the power, freedom and choices to have a positive attitude towards our living. That is to say that being alive, the meaning of life is just that, our living. Consider seriously how you are living. Do you carry the secret of your own loneliness?

I may not believe in an interventionist God or a fated destiny (this does not mean I don't believe in a God or at least something) so how can I come to understand purpose in my life? I have considerations toward the future, aspirations and ambitions; to help people by establishing meaningful relationships and making positive changes. I want to live without accumulating and collecting more regrets. This is my effort to live my life fully. To make meaning of living.How do you live your life fully?

I believe that this awareness of death that I've been discussing for the last few months of blog posts is useful to me and may be useful to others in bringing about life changes. I no longer see grief as an intrusion, I no longer starve and ignore my grief in an effort to be rid of it. I proceed through life as I am an indebted person, I know many things have died to keep me alive. I wish to communicate more deeply with those that I love, I don't want to fear other people. I want to take risks, have little concern for rejection and appreciate all the small things in life. I wonder if it's possible for me to shed my desire for prestige, vanity and money.

Thanks for following along with this discussion as I've explored my own ideas surrounding death. Feel free to communicate your thoughts and ideas through the comments. Now that I'm home and healthy there will be much more to post.

Live and breathe deeply,

Tim.

Is death a debt?

2011-11-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

In the previous post I mentioned death anxiety, death phobia and death terror. Ernest Becker wrote The Denial of Death in exposing the functions within modern civilization to shield us from our future, that we will die. This has turned our mortality into "news". When we receive the "news" we are shocked and traumatized. Becker argues that we should not fall victim to this, your death should not come as a surprise. We should have seen our death coming and lived our lives knowing that one day it will happen. Living blindly to death manifests itself in our culture as death coming as some surprise to people when they discover they're dying. Perhaps they receive a terminal diagnosis or negative prognosis and they simply didn't expect that they would die. It's natural to be surprised, shocked and traumatized that you've discovered how you will die and perhaps when.

Here, pleading with a dying person to love their dying life is difficult. This death phobia, anxiety or terror can be alleviated by our relationships. A dying person can turn towards their families and friends to ask them to love their dying, to carry them when they're gone. Connections with other people can affect personal change and help in dying. Why should lonely be dying? Not only do we die alone but we get separated from consciousness, the world as we know it. In psychotherapy we learn that most of our work is to help others with interpersonal pain or loneliness, intimacy, fear of rejection, being unloveable, etc. Dying very much deals with these issues, families regress around a dying person and those are dying don't want to drag others down, they isolate themselves. Holding someone who is suffering is a great comfort and it may be necessary for the dying person to reach out. To show that suffering is not something that happens to them but that it's a consequence of their living and take on life. To not grieve someone let's them down, show's them we don't love them. A good death, dying well may involve grieving someone who is dying while they are still alive. Here, grief is understood to be a skill, it's no an affliction or inevitable outcome. Rather than mitigate and handle grief, it's a goal to achieve.

My favourite A.A. Milne Quote:

What does this quote say to me? I want to persist in my own being, if I am to die I want my family and friends, the people that I love to love me after I'm gone. I want them to honour me, remember me, celebrate my life and carry me.

I want to greet death authentically and integrate it into my understanding of the world. To know that life ends and that my only destiny is to one day die. With this knowledge, I too greet tomorrow and proceed as if I am indebted.

Grieving is loving those who left you. Loving is grieving those who have not yet left you,

Tim.

Our culture rejects death.

2011-10-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Last week I wrote about my knowledge and understanding of death. I have some experience with it and am aware of it. That is to say that I know of death, I understand that it is not a rumour and I believe that one day I will die. This may be a difficult topic for some so I'd like to take it slow. A comment left on last weeks blog literates this perfectly, everyone has varied experience with death. Although from my experience in western culture it appears that generally, most people's experience with death (like the comment left last week) is limited.

Death plays a somewhat unimportant role in our culture currently. Let me qualify this statement by clarifying that I do not mean the act of dying but the whole process associated with dying including the knowledge that someone will one day die and how they live with that knowledge. We don't value, understand, educate our children or even speak about death or what dying means. It happens suddenly and is extremely traumatizing to families and close relations, this may be murder, car collisions or other unforeseen circumstances like disease, etc. When a sick person becomes deemed a dying person, they may regress and wish to be distant from others including family, they may even begin displaying symptoms of depression and become medicated for those symptoms during their time of dying.

Family members and all else are now suddenly struck with needing to "deal with" the death. A plethora of methods or interventions are used to help those dying and those affected by the death. These involving hoping for medical interventions to save, hoping for miraculous sudden recoveries and of course miracles. After hoping more practical ideas are introduced such as coping with the loss, accepting it and understanding how to move on.

The lack of continuity here and absent genuine discussion around death has created and continues to perpetuate death phobia, death anxiety or death terror (feel free to use any of the previous terms interchangeably). This is not to say that some people in the western world are not dealing with death, grief and bereavement counselling appropriately. There are many in fact but they are the minority and I wish to expose some of the gifts they share with their clients and especially the philosophy that they propagate.

Until we talk more,
Tim.

Let's talk about death.

2011-10-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

For the next week I'm going to blog about the subject of death, bereavement, end of life planning and living life fully. This is a subject I want to fully immerse myself with, become comfortable in talking about and deal with my own issues and ideas surrounding death and living life fully.

Let me begin with addressing my knowledge of death. To many people, I understand that death is a rumour. I live in a culture and have been raised in a culture where death no longer occurs at home. No one in my family passed at home nor do I have any knowledge of friends or family members of friends passing at home. Death seems to be segregated into hospital rooms, hidden behind curtains or palliative care wards. Most of my friends and many family members have never seen a dead body and death is very rarely a topic that comes up.

I have no early first memory in becoming aware of death. That is to say I don't have an experience that suddenly made me aware of death. My earliest experience I can remember is when I was approximately the age of three. Every morning one of my parents would come into my bedroom and feed my two goldfish that lived in a fishbowl atop of my dresser. While I was not in my bedroom both of my parents entered at separate times and fed my fish unbeknownst to the other. This overfeeding caused both goldfish to die. I remember seeing them floating on their sides at the top of the fishbowl and immediately felt sad. My dad explained to me what happened and I felt betrayed by my parents, how could their simple oversight lead to such a disastrous outcome.

Several years later, in the summer between grade three and four a childhood friend of mine passed away in an accidental death. I remember seeing the news reports of the rescue efforts and felt like I was watching a movie, I remember thinking that just like in a movie everything would work out for him and he would be fine. He was not fine and I attended his funeral that summer shortly before school began in September. This was the first time I saw a dead body, it was nearly as frightening as the film "Stand by me" where a group of young boys discover a dead body in the woods. In fact, I thought he looked completely normal, like he was just sleeping. He had a vest on in his casket and at that time I remember thinking in my child head that he looked funny wearing the vest, it was not at all like what he would wear in life. I remember the vest so clearly because I was watching his chest for movement, as kids you pretend to be a corpse and you can always tell the faker because they're breathing, the chest rises and lowers. He was not faking.

I did not cry at the funeral but I felt bad for his family. I didn't know how sisters or parents well, I had only played at his house once or twice. I remember he had very beautiful older sisters and I have no memory of ever seeing them at the funeral or after, the same goes with his parents. Children at school rumoured that his parents broke up, most certainly they postulated from the stress that losing a child had on their relationship. Now, I don't know that for a fact but pause for a moment to think about how other children in grade four recognized the impact of the loss of a child. Now, it is more than possible that they may have heard these comments from their parents, but still even then, they heard it, understood it, internalized it (in that they deemed it necessary to share with their friends) and propagated it by sharing the idea with classmates. I also quickly came to realize the phenomenon of people wishing to attach themselves to the drama of our classmates death. Classmates that knew my deceased friend but didn't really hang out with him suddenly were his best friends and had such deep connections with him that his apparition visited them at night while they were in bed saying "goodbye". At the time this frustrated me, I had a lot of valuable memories about my friend but never spoke out about them because he was gone and those were moments that we shared, that I had to remember of him. Those are the stories I would have liked to hear from classmates.

Shortly thereafter I was nine and my grandfather passed away. I remember him fondly. My fathers father, Timothy, for whom I'm named after lived like most elderly Canadians who can, in Florida during the winter. I was not able to say goodbye to him nor to attend his funeral. A few years later my grandmother passed away in her hospital room. A curtain separated the two bed hospital room. Her hospital bed was beside the window and I sat on the other side of the room, the curtain was drawn and I looked away out of respect for her as she passed. I remember catching a glimpse out of the corner of the curtain where it meets the wall and saw her face just after she gasped a last breath and passed. Her mouth was wide open, her skin colour was grey and the once delicate woman with a dry sense of humour and sharp attitude was instantaneously gone. I was okay with the passing of my grandmother, I saw her for some time in the hospital and was able to spend time with her before she passed. She was ill but had a good attitude, I remember her having my mother help her fill out her voting information, her last civil duty as a Canadian. I remember her justifying her voting decision in the federal election to my mother and I laughed to myself. This period of transition was important I believe, there was no shock, I was told she is not well and she will pass.

For some time after this I thought of death as something I do not want to happen to me. The end, black nothingness, a place where I will no longer be present for my family and friends, where they will no longer her there for me, somewhere scary that I will go completely by myself. From a young age I refuted the notion of heaven, hell, reincarnation or the after life in general. I simply didn't believe it and didn't feel it. More on that later.

At the age of seventeen a close friend of mine once again passed. I remember him being sick and going away for the weekend to a hospital far away that dealt with his specific heart condition. The last time I saw him was Thursday night or Friday during class, heard a little bit from him over the weekend and then early Monday morning, I had awoken before my alarm went off, was laying in bed enjoying the sensation of waking slowly when my phone range. I answered, his mother cried and told me that he he had passed away in the hospital. In the moment I felt awful for his mother, I think it was my gut reaction of hearing her cry and be overtly hurt. She was a tough woman, a single parent who ran a successful business with a nice home and refined tastes. She was cool and good looking. I was now seeing a totally different side of her, I could hear the anguish in her voice and I tried the best I could to comfort her over the phone. She asked two things of me, first if I could call our mutual friends and let them know and second if I could play a Dave Matthews song (his favourite band) at the funeral. I humbly agreed.

My friend was a devout fan of the high school band I played in, he helped us book shows, showed up to all of them and was in general a super fan. I never knew if this was because he genuinely loved the music or if it was because he was just a good friend. Regardless, it was appreciated.

The funeral was sombre, a traditional Catholic ceremony with a closed casket there were many glorified stories of our friend and many tears shed. We had a conversation in the parking lot conversing about how this is what he would have wanted for his family, our friend a self-professed atheist reeled against everything that organized religion stood for. However, he was sensitive and deeply concerned about how his family would see his death. I believe this is a particularly progressive individual who had already thought about his own death because he had previously been close to death. As I mentioned he had a heart condition and required a transplant a year before.

Him and I would talk late at night as I would noodle around on my guitar and he would sketch, we would talk about philosophy, girls, our favourite movies (I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression and believe our conversations were all about deep subjects) and of course death. We would talk about his heart transplant and the little bit that he knew about the donor, how he felt affected by her generosity and that he found he was more sensitive to people and empathic. He identified this as a change in his being due to having someone else's heart in his body, he believed he was taking on some of this woman's attributes (or at least what he believed were her attributes). I listened with awe and an unquestioning ear. I interpreted his new found empathy for everyone and everything as little to do with the characteristics of the woman who gave him her heart (literally) but that my friend has a near death experience and was now living his life with zeal.

My friends death affected me and my friends deeply, I felt angry at times like his life was stolen from him. There were two rows of pews. We, a group of his closest friends, the "guys" sat in the front left row of pews in the funeral home. His closest family members were to sit in the right pew but weren't there yet. We reminisced about our friend, shared stories and shook our heads at some of the ridiculous situations we had been in with him over the last few years. Our friend had a habit of exaggerating himself, no matter what you had done or what great feat you had achieved our friend always had one to outdo you. More often than not he would start his response to you with "Oh yea, well I've.." or "Yea but I've.." We all used to roll our eyes at him but we remembered his stories fondly. As we sat sombrely on this pew in front of our friends closed casket, waiting for the funeral home to fill a silence fell over us. I said gently "Yea, well I died." We all laughed and cried a bit.

I still miss my friend all the time,

Tim.

Psychoeducation rethought.

2011-10-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

Last night at work I had a long chat with the training supervisor about advocacy and want it means to me. I'm young and outgoing, I've had experience working with the media as a musician and know how to navigate the world of press releases, interviews and promotion. These discussions between me and this supervisor only ever happen over the phone and happen once in a while but they're always heavy and profound. She left the conversation with giving me a few words of support, telling me that I am in fact in the right place doing work I believe in but also tried to encourage me to not loose touch with that person I "used" to be. The outgoing musician. She felt there was a deep level of self-care within continuing to play music but that I may also be able to take some of those skills and implement them into my advocacy work, my desire to inform policy that affect Canadian social welfare.

So, I leave work late last night, around midnight and start my morning bright and early around 7am. My day on Wednesdays start with the Diversity, Marginalization and Oppression class. Once again this class has been enlightening and eye opening. However, today in an almost eerie way, the discussion section that has always been a very intimate experience moved towards how we as social workers can become politically influential. The "Occupy Wall Street" movement was discussed but we moved on to the media. It became apparent how many of my fellow students harbour some resentment towards the media. I understand this feeling, as a frequent consumer of "The Daily Show" and listener of both CBC radio every morning and NPR I like to think that I get a healthy dose of balanced media. Also, I believe it's important to be a critical consumer, think about what you're listening to. Ask yourself, am I being preached to or is this just a presentation of the facts and allowing me to make up my own mind about this issue. When you make up your own mind, you may fall on one side of the fence or the other and I think that is an incredible experience. To develop your own eclectic, diverse view of the world based on experiences and developed from being educated.

Which brings me to psychoeducation, traditionally psychoeducation is used as a response to individuals who suffer a variety of illnesses or issues. As a social worker, it's a common experience for clients to tell me "I'm told I have (insert mental health issue here) but I really don't know what the doctors are talking about." A concept that we discussed in class today was getting involved with the media as social workers and being proactive about psychoeducation. Is it possible to deliver psychoeducation and expose issues of mental illness, poverty, etc. through the media? Have social workers inform journalists interested in these issues and giving voice to psychoeducation on a mass media level?

This is a really exciting idea to me. I think the potential of delivering awareness could have a positive impact. I however realize that this is more of a public service announcement and may not be seen as desirable to report on so, in class we look at case examples. I think that is the proverbial key to unlocking this issue, personalize the story, give it a face. A second area where psychoeducation could be valuable here is to display and interpret the empirical data on homelessness, poverty and social welfare. There is a belief here in Canada, as I'm sure there is around the world that funding social programs is a tax on working society. The reality is that research shows increased social programs increases public safety by decreasing crime, empowers individuals on the fringe of society who may not have a means to empower themselves through education and employment. The data shows that this is an investment in human capital and does have substantial returns, a positive economic impact. This may not seem logical, it may not make common sense at surface value for an equation: Increase social welfare funding + increase in social programming = economic profits. That equation just doesn't fit within the realm of common sense but studies show that this is the way to combat these issues with a positive economic outcome in the end.

Everybody wins,

Tim.

Blog to go!

2011-10-02T16:19:00.001-07:00

What a weekend, if I wasn't dressed up like Don Draper from the set of Mad Men for a themed Social Work potluck/party on Saturday I was hitting the books hard with a few breaths up for air. The weather this weekend was cool, fall is here. You can smell it in the air. Local businesses always seem to have the jump on the seasons, they already have their pumpkins out front on the steps and dried out cobs of corn hanging from windows. Shoppers Drug Mart had their Halloween candy and costumes on display a few weeks ago but this weekend the weather caught up. Right on time I may add, the cool, fresh air is here for October.

Well I say bring on the hooded sweatshirts, hot yoga classes and warm drinks.

I did however manage to get out on my bike a few times this weekend. I'm a huge fan of the social work podcast and was able to take it along with me thanks to the conveniences of modern technology so I don't feel quite as guilty taking a few hours out of the day to be solitary and go for a ride. If you're a social worker or social work student and haven't checked out the podcast yet, I highly recommend it. Dr. Singer is interesting, engaging and has a good "radio" voice. Also, his corny jokes genuinely make me laugh out loud.

On my bike ride a really interesting insect found it's way onto my leg. I slowed down to take a picture and stopped to transfer him onto a nearby leaf. Just as I reached my finger out to, the insect flew away and onto a plant.

Off I go, I must work tonight,
Tim.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What a week!

2011-09-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

Thank gaawd it's Friday!?

Student association elections were Monday and I still can't believe it, I was elected vice president (incoming president). What this means is that for the next six or seven months, I'm the vice president of the MSW student association and then transition into the role of president. The turnout of students was more than they had ever seen before so I must say thanks to all my supportive new friends/classmates. I really feel like we can use this opportunity to organize some great events. I'd like to bring in some guest speakers, organize community outreach initiatives and get the students from our faculty involved in events that will be social, help develop professional skills and bring awareness to new social work issues.

So this begins my work for the weekend, researching guest speakers and trying to figure out what I can do to make things happen.

Practice with individuals was something else. I of course volunteered in the wake of the sound of crickets when our professor asked for a volunteer to sit down and do a counselling session with her in front of the class. It was a nice experience and I felt a lot of "love" and support from those who looked on to experience an intimate conversation between a middle aged counselling instructor and myself. She asked what I'd like to talk about, what kind of troubles I was having and what came to mind was a presentation I had made with two classmates earlier in the week. We were three white guys presenting to a VERY diverse class on the subject of racism. Yes, three white guys sharing the experience of immigrant women and black men being oppressed and feeling victimized by social situations and blatant racism that marginalized them. So, my comment in our mini therapy was "I feel like a faker, like I don't really understand the issues that women or any minorities experience. I worry that they look at me as someone who has no right to talk about the issues that they own, that they live."

She asked me where I thought this was coming and after only a few minutes we explored that this was a fear, that I want to be a great social worker and competent when it comes to diversity but that I fear I will be seen culturally incompetent or even as the very embodiment of everything that has served to oppress and marginalize them.

Only problem with this mini counselling session is yes, we exposed the issue but never got anywhere with it. Thankfully (and bravely I must say) about three or four other students came up to me to tell me that they felt very much the same way as me and had the same worries. We talked for some time and have established a really nice rapport, a group of people I know I can count on. :)

Also to be noted, the rush to finish my literature review on yoga as a modality of therapeutic care is on! So, yes the weekend is here. Class is over but my duties are many.

Maybe I could sneak in a bike ride today though...

Tim.

'tis the season to conceptualize a thesis.

2011-09-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

So as a graduate student some are expected to write and research but my program, a master of social work does not require this. Instead the MSW program is very much practical and based on developing skills, doing practicums. I however want to write a thesis. This has elicited looks of fright from my classmates and friends. Well, I'm here to say don't look so scared. Writing a thesis is a lot of extra work, yes but think of how much deeper into your studies you can get. Take for example you're really into a certain topic but your faculty doesn't really offer any courses that specialize in that interest. So, maybe you take it upon yourself to do some additional reading, your interested is really peaked and now you're googling podcasts, youtube videos, books, anything you can in relation to this topic. Perhaps you find a workshop, maybe you can afford to go, maybe you can't. At this point you may not be recognized as an authority on this particular subject but you definitely have an understanding of it and if you're passionate about it and not sick of it why not learn more about it, contribute to it and help it grow. In growing that topic you may grow and become recognized as an authority or expert.

This is obviously something I've spent a significant time thinking about. The name "Zen Social Worker" comes from a description of me. I'm a yogi and practice (yoga) every day as well as a social work student. First thing when I wake up in the morning, I unroll my mat and jump on it. It's my time to wake up, energize myself for the day, fire up my hunger, increase my metabolism and focus my Drishti (outward vision, inward awareness). My practice is meditative and sometimes slow, just to stretch and ease myself into consciousness. for the day Other mornings I am ready to rock and really want to get my sweat on. My practice on these mornings will be far more active with many vinyasa's.

Yoga is something I'm very passionate about, it has a profoundly positive effect on my life and I have seen those positive impacts on other people. I would like to introduce yoga as a modality of therapeutic care, from my readings I've found a variety of studies relating the practice of yoga to well being and healing in healthcare situations. As a student in the yoga teacher program I'm learning more about yogic philosophy and have a great desire to introduce yoga into my direct practice.

I suspect that it will take a significant time investment to put together a practical guide as to how I plan on integrating yoga as a treatment for specific symptoms. Luckily there is a lot of literature on the subject and now it's a matter of me taking that information in, digesting it and conceptualizing a research design to test if yoga does have a healing effect on patients.

I should get back to reading,

Tim.

A class on diversity, marginalization and oppression.

2011-09-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

Week two of Diversity, Marginalization and Oppression has turned out to be a heavy one. The classroom is set up in a semi-circle with desks but our professor encouraged us to put our chairs on the other side of the desk. Funny, sitting in a circle with each other without the desks in front of us really made the environment feel intimate. A seminar presentation group discussed the weeks readings, a few articles and a chapter on feminism and the experience of being a black woman in academia. What followed afterwards was a completely unique experience. We talked about the reading and offered our reflections of what we read. Students were encouraged to share their backgrounds or life stories in relation to the material. Now, I consider myself to be a very diversity savvy person. In saying that, I recognize "differences" between myself and others, try to respect or at least consider how my interaction with that person may be affected by my social position (being a caucasian, middle class, educated, male) and am sensitive to those issues. However, today I was opened up to a completely new interpretation of what it means to be "different".

At first I had a really hard time hearing it, I am not a racist and I do not hold ideals that are racist in any way but yet without doing any of those I can make people feel marginalized. Take for example an adolescent black male who I am working with, I know who I am and how I see my client but he may interpret me differently and attribute negative views to me. I may be seen as a person of privilege whom there are assumptions about. Even though I see the role of being a social worker as helping it could still be seen as a position of power, that could be exerted as a form of control and therefore oppression.

It's been an enlightening day,
Tim.

Had the nature vs. nurture debate in class today.

2011-09-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

Do people still believe in the nature argument? How about the criminal man? What I mean by this is someone who is born with a biological propensity towards crime. The answer appeared to be no today in class but there were a few stragglers with the idea that nature really can explain behaviour. Take for a moment a consideration of this age old argument that nature drives the actions of human beings. What exactly does it mean and what are it's implications? For reference, I'm not talking about basic biological drives like the need for water, food, shelter, etc. I am discussing the behaviours of human beings and the development of cognitive processes based on genetics or your birth. Cesare Lombroso wrote "The Criminal Man" in 1876 attempting to explain the causation of criminal behaviour based on physical attributes. To simply put, just by closely looking at human beings you can discern whether or not they are a criminal or will become criminal.

Lombroso studied 54,000 patients, ten thousand of which were military soldiers who Lombroso observed during war time, they were not offenders. Lombroso had little to no background knowledge of the many cadavers used in the study and used psychiatric patients not associated with criminal behaviour. Thus, many of these patients are useless to the study of criminal behaviour and not representative of the offender population. Lombroso found that atavistic or savage like physical features linked criminals together, their physical degenerative abnormalities.

The 1993 study, Effect of Socialization Factors on Decisions to Prosecute by Tuohy, Wrenall, McQueen and Stradling showed that police are more likely to initiate interactions with “different” looking individuals and will prosecute those individuals at a higher rate than “normal” looking individuals. Using this social theory we can understand that there would be a higher representation of these primitive or atavistic looking individuals incarcerated based on the behaviour of police and their decisions to specifically investigate and prosecute individuals with these specific physical attributes.

Thompson's 1990 study also stands in contrast to Lombroso. Thompson discovered that approximately half of the inmate prison population in the state of New York were disfigured. This reinforces the concept that there is simply a higher representation of physical abnormalities in prison, not that atavism is proof of causation. Further to Thompson's findings these savage or primitive looking individuals may have a higher risk towards offending due to the socialization of their body type and appearance within their own community. Consider for a moment a child who looks different, they may have an inability to “fit in” because they do not look “normal”. This is a serious threat to their upbringing. The offender may have been shunned by people in their community for how they look and pushed to the fringe of society, socially isolated by school mates, bullied, etc. Truly, environmental issues must play a role in the propensity for individuals to offend.

Ultimately, I'm trying to make an argument to understand the behaviour of individuals through their environment, upbringing and other "nurture" factors. Not that I have the time to blog about it this morning but given an understanding of these factors may also help the justice process involving offenders and the process of forgiveness. Seeing the factors that led to an individual committing a criminal offence may increase empathy of victims (in situations of irrevocable harm this may not be the case) and help the healing process for victims and lead to a restorative relationship.

Boo to positivism,
Tim.

Imagine finding exactly what you're looking for all at once, unexpectedly.

2011-09-16T15:19:00.000-07:00

So, yesterdays post has been answered all at once thanks to Dr. Coady and Dr. Lehman's text, Theoretical Perspectives for Direct Social Work Practice. This is an optional book for an advanced theories class I'm taking. After a long day of making phone calls and emails to different institutes responsible for "therapy" training I went home, watched an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Suits and then was out cold. This morning I crack my optional text and read Chapter One; I'm immediately struck with the answer that I've been looking for, a generalist or eclectic practice for Social Work. This involves combining theoretical frameworks to create an informed practice with clients.

Eclecticism is especially interesting to me as a social worker because I believe this approach does not constrain a clients experience to one theory, forcing them to fit a mould or archetype. I interpret that as oppressive and not inclusive of the many different factors that may exist outside of the acknowledgement of a specific theories framework. Eclecticism also notes that a critical stance is taken by social workers on a scientific view in practice. This really strikes a chord with me, especially in an age where our actions are considered objective and important, our emotions are subjective and of little importance. That is wrong to me, I like having a critical view of "objectivity" as I feel that truly being objective is nearly impossible.

Back to studying, more later.

I have values and ideas but where do I go? Do I specialize?

2011-09-15T08:04:00.001-07:00

I have spent a lot of time in my undergraduate studying the philosophy of Social Work, asking the big epistemological questions, how do social workers know what they know? Where do they get their information from, how do they inform their practice? Unfortunately I wrote my undergraduate research paper on the philosophy of Social Work as a science before finding the Social Work Podcast; I really feel the podcast is an exceptional source of information for Social Work students and practitioners. Now that the MSW program is in full swing I'm beginning to realize that not only does my discipline not subscribe to any one modality of therapy but uses many skills and therapies creating an eclectic practice. This is freeing and flexible, I imagine having a proverbial toolbox to draw from for a variety of situations and issues. From self-harming, suicide, depression, anxiety to bereavement, attachment or major personality disorders. Being

So, where do I fit in? The reality is I don't know and being eclectic is confusing when you don't have a foundation. I want to be recognized as a specialist with skills that are sought out or considered valuable, at least that is something aspire to. So, I will spend the next year researching institutes that offer training like the Toronto Psychoanalytic Institute & Society or the Jung Foundation of Ontario.

We shall see,
Tim.

A Social Work student making sense of their discipline.

2011-09-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

I spent the past weekend with friends and family (the last of summer before academic go time). Some of them I haven't seen in a while, others are mainstays of my social life. Interestingly enough, I am always met with varying degrees of support towards my latest degree, a master of Social Work by both friends and family. It's no surprise to anyone that I'm pursuing this masters as I have worked in social welfare for the last six years. Despite this, I'm frequently asked by friends, "why Social Work"? Sure, I have had aspirations of being a psychotherapist for many years and a master of Social Work is an avenue towards that goal but yoga has been a major driving force in my life for the last three years and I have written my law school exams with great success. So, career paths are abound. Ultimately though, I find myself always drawn back to Social Work and specifically Social Work, not psychology or other related disciplines. At first glance it's not difficult to see the connection I have to Social Work. Friends and family say I have always been a sensitive person. I'm aware and conscious about others feelings, I find myself to be empathetic, a good listener but also a critical thinker and a true advocate for the underdog. When I researched Social Work values and ethics, I knew this was the right profession for me. They literally just popped out to me, I had that lightbulb moment. Now, this was more than three years ago so the pathway has come somewhat cluttered but finally, I'm here!

The first week of class has been interesting, I struggled with some feelings of impostor syndrome (not really a syndrome.. at least the folks who publish the DSM don't recognize it) as I felt I received admission out of pure luck and not my own merit. However, now that I'm surrounded by my fellow students I feel like I belong in the faculty and that I'm in the exact place in the universe that I should be. A little cheesy, I know but it feels good. My classmates possess values very similar to mine, they're all passionate about many different social justice and equality issues; some of which admittedly, I wasn't aware of. These are bright and exciting people with ideas and a lot of conviction to help people. Yes, to genuinely help people. These are my people, I have come to the right place. :)

More on my treatise of "why" social work. (An exploration of interdisciplinary studies)

2011-08-18T01:46:00.000-07:00

In my last post I talked a little about how social work found me. My relationship with social work is not so one sided, I am drawn to social work and continue to have a great passion for the discipline. I have most days my mind is a sponge for all topics, I just enjoy taking in information, education is somewhat of an addiction for me. Social work however, really interests me. So, it's easy for me to get fired up about it. What really intrigues me about social work is the potential to take part in interdisciplinary or multidisciplinary teams.

I want to take a moment and make a clear distinction between interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary. Attached to the blog (on the right) I have an amazon carousel which displays things I like. Take a moment to browse through and purchase anything of interest, I do get a small commission. Now, one of the things you'll find in that list is a book, Becoming Interdisciplinary by Tanya Augsburg. It's a textbook but a darn good one and easy to read. I actually really, really enjoyed it and draw upon it on the regular. In this text is a detailed history, description and delineation of interdisciplinary studies. Interdisciplinarity is a product of the twentieth century and involves the combination of disciplines. This is more than just an understanding of let's say law and economics. Two completely different discplines. Interdisciplinarity is an appreciation of each discipline, drawing upon them and being critical to assess the potential for solving problems or addressing questions. This gives, hopefully a deeper understanding of issues and allows interdisciplinary perspectives to overtake a single discipline.

Multidisciplinary work would look very different from the above. Yes, more than one discipline is being used at a time but they exist in parallel to each other. Meaning an eclectic insight won't be established, the disciplines may interact with one another but remain untouched and still mutually exclusive. I can see the value of multidisciplinary work in professional settings as interdisciplinarity doesn't bode well with command and control type situations where individuals with authority are trained in one discipline working with individuals who have less power in other disciplines. For example, a medical doctor who oversees, supervises or has the final word in a multidisciplinary team that includes nurses, support workers, social workers and other healthcare professionals.

Participating in an environment that allows me to research, come up with new ideas, think creatively and critically about what I'm working on, like the aforementioned studies into interdisciplinary or multidisciplinary work really appeals to me. I would love to hear from social workers practicing in these teams to hear about their experiences.

Other areas I see an intersection of interdiscplinarity and social work. Well, specifically in my studies of sociological theories, social learning theory or symbolic interactionism for example. Taking these theories and applying them to an understanding of clients experiences could be valuable. Further to this studies in philosophy lend to being a better researcher, thinking critically about epistemological questions and asking myself, how do I know what I know? Are my beliefs correct? Philosophy may also offer insights into answering metaphysical questions, what does it mean to be a person? Do I have a soul? Is there meaning in life? What does it mean for me to be conscious and mindful?

Why social work?

2011-08-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

Once in your life you may feel a great sense of responsibility. Nobel Peace Prize winner Elie Wiesel called this duty, “the duty of our generation as we enter the twenty-first century -- solidarity with the weak, the persecuted, the lonely, the sick, and those in despair. It is expressed by the desire to give a noble and humanizing meaning to a community.” Marcus Aurelius, last of the “Five Good Emperors” of Rome and, a brilliant philosopher, did not regard this as duty but love. The meek will quote Frederick Buechner “a calling is the place where your deepest gladness meets the world's deepest need.” The truth about a calling is that you don’t do it because you have to, someone asks it of you, you do it because you truly want to.

Let me start by saying social work discovered me. I was a full time musician, on tour and was asked to take part in working with the Ontario Early Years Learning Center to help develop a music program for families. As a performer it's common to supplement your income with teaching which I had been doing for many years so it wasn't a stretch for me to get off the road and take some time away to commit myself to a project like this. At the time my parents were also becoming involved in the training to become foster parents. I had left the nest a few years before to venture out on my own, discover myself and pursue a career in music. By the time I was working in full swing on this new music program my parents became foster parents to seven kids. This really opened my eyes to a completely new world. Each child had their own story and especially their own experiences they brought to living with my parents. Right off the bat I recognized that for everything they've been through and for all the people who had intervened in their lives to try and help them, the people that mattered most to them were the ones who were simply there. So, this sense of duty, love or calling didn't crop up overnight. It took some time to cultivate it but at this point it's been six years in the making. Regardless, I feel it everyday now. Social work has become my passion.

Allow me to introduce myself.

2011-08-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tim and this blog is going to be my home for some time. I'm a Canadian student (BA Interdisciplinary Studies) pursuing my Master of Social Work. I also work full time. I want to tell you that I am a musician but I don't want to say "used to be". I still love music and do not play often enough although, I do still play concerts once in a while. My life has taken a different direction and I find far more fulfillment in social work than I ever did as a performer or music teacher. I'm very politically involved and consider myself to fit in the activist column. I volunteer religiously with a variety of organizations but we'll probably talk all about that another time. Religion is something else, I was raised Catholic but do not identify myself as religious. I am however, spiritual. I do yoga every morning and meditate for as long as I can.

Two years ago I made the decision to pull up my proverbial socks and go back to school full-time. I enrolled an undergraduate program, it was enlightening. A much different experience than the college/diploma post-secondary experience.

So, what can you expect from this blog? I wanted to keep track of my thoughts, share ideas and generally get myself "out there". That will certainly involve academic pursuits, political discussions and essays (or rants), ideas about professional development, networking and conferences. It may even mean you having to endure personal interests from books and electronics to yoga gear and daily life. I feel very inclined to call this a lifestyle blog but I'm also inclined to say that "lifestyle blog" sounds like it's for a!%holes. So, how about we just call this the infinitely awesome diarium of Tim.